and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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