They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
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First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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