My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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