What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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