I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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