You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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