how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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