All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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