Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Barsexuality is the new black.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize