Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize