He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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