found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Randomize