we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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