It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize