therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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