I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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