Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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