I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize