Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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