He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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