I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
there's paper in my vomit.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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