im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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