I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize