I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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