hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize