Buhtt sex?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize