just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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