just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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