sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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