I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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