I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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