The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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