I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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