Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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