we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just puked most of my soul out..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize