Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize