Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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