Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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