i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
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Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
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It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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