The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The Olympian is in my bed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize