OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize