If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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