They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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