this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize