So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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