You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize