This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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