no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize