it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize