I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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